Photo from Blessing and the Curse Facebook Page

Okay, I know everyone is dyyyyyiing to know exactly where I’m going to be tonight and I’m gonna tell you.

On the off chance that anyone is from the San Antonio, TX area. Schwabs and I will be at The White Rabbit checking out the Austin-based rock band, Blessing and the Curse. (Some of you may remember the review I did on their EP album, Just Like You. Short recap-they’ve got soul, and they’re awesome!)

There will be over 10 band playing tonight, cover is only $3 and the drinks are notoriously cheap. Bands start playing at 6 pm, to catch Blessing and the Curse, plan on showing up by 10 pm. Looking forward to a fun show tonight!

I hope you all enjoy your weekend, friends

This chilly weather has been making want to stay inside, so lately I’ve been in pretty much nothing but pjs and mismatched workout clothes… (nothing postworthy)

Here are some photos taken before a quick run to the grocery store. Hair and makeup I couldn’t bother with, but an all-black ensemble with pink loafers and sparkly studs was easy enough to manage.

Tshirt-Torrid/Jeans-Levi's/Shoes-IsaacMizrahi(forTarget)/Purse-AudreyBrooke/Earrings-Dots/Headband-Ross/Nails-SweetChocolate(Gelish)

Also, I’m really loving my latest shellac mani–a beautiful shimmery brown called Sweet Chocolate by Gelish. I’m seriously hooked to shellac and can’t stop talking about with all my girlfriends. The colors available are beautiful, the manicure stays looking chip-free and pretty for weeks and best of all, it’s your real nail!

Before I go any further (and make some readers nauseous with all this gushy love talk) I must emphasize, we are not the perfect couple and we certainly don’t pretend to be. Just like every long-lasting relationship, we have our fair share of fights and irritating the heck out of each other. While we definitely still see a situation from very different perspectives, over time, we have gotten better about trying to see something from two perspectives instead of one. I guess you could say, we try to put on each others thinking caps and that helps us not veer too far off track. It’s not always easy…this compromise, give-and-take thing…But for a love like this, it’s definitely worth the effort.

In just a few short weeks, we will be celebrating our five year wedding anniversary and eight years of togetherness. I know in the big scheme of things, this time is just a drop in the hat, but for a flighty pisces, eight years is practically a lifetime. And if that’s the case, I look forward to spending many lifetimes with him. Here are a few more reasons why:

1. He Makes Me Feel Safe

And not just in the physical sense, but on every level that I believe exists: spiritually, emotionally, mentally and sexually. He does what he says he’s going to do, he honors and protects my sensitivity, he never hesitates to show me how much he loves me, he is the strong and steady to wishy-washy nature. No matter what, his actions always speak louder than words. They inspire me to believe that I have placed my heart in safe hands, in a set that knows how to cherish what it’s holding.

2. He Loves Unconditionally

Before I met Schwabs, I thought I knew how to love, but then he stormed into my life and showed me that I had been loving all wrong. He loves with a child-like purity of heart that I have never seen before and it makes me melt.

From the moment we met, he has accepted me for exactly who I am. When he looks at me, I catch the twinkle in his eye, the little boy grin on his face and I can see how deeply his heart beats for me. In all of our years of togetherness, not once have I ever been made to feel insecure or unsure of myself in his presence. He elevates me, he adores me, he is proud to have me stand by his side-and he is man enough to show it. It’s how I know he’s special.

I’m not just talking about the way he loves me, but how he loves everyone who is important to him. He forgives and forgets offenses, he doesn’t hold grudges for long and he vehemently refuses to stop loving just because someone doesn’t reciprocate that same energy back to him. In other words, he is the total opposite of me.

He shows me how true love is unselfish and it makes me want to follow in his footsteps.

3. I Respect Him

I’ll be the first to admit, it’s not always easy to earn my respect, but with a man like Schwabs, he demands it. To the outside world, he may seem gentle and quiet, but I know better. Even in his quiet moments, he’s always observing and trying to stay a step ahead of his peers. He has a competitive streak like nobody’s business and he revels in a challenge because he has the determination and energy to come out on top. That’s not really my nature, but it’s the exact kind of masculine mojo that gets my blood boiling.

Even though he can be quite gentle, he is certainly no pushover. He may spoil me, but when I start taking it too far, he knows when to put his foot down. Same goes for others. There is a fierce streak in him that rarely comes to the surface, but when it does, watch out! He’s not afraid to push anyone back a few notches if he really has to.

Also, he is not shy about making some demands for a little spoiling himself, which I can’t possibly refuse…not that I’d want to anyway. He deserves it.

4. He Fights Fair

Even when we do get into a heated discussion, he practices good sportsmanship and fights fair. He tries not to bring up old wounds from the past (as far as he’s concerned, that’s where they should stay) and because he understands how extremely sensitive I am, he tries to avoid pushing my buttons or saying anything that would really hurt me, even though he knows he could.

Also, he refuses to let me stew in anger too long. No matter how many times I tell him to “just leave me alone”, he won’t back down until he can get me to shake it off. I’ve never had anyone willing to do that for me, it makes him a rare breed.

5. He’s Got Nice Parts

So while I don’t consider myself a completely shallow person, there are certain parts of the human anatomy that gross me out-specifically, feet and armpits. I know I’m strange, but if a man had gross feet or pits, all bets were off. I simply couldn’t imagine rubbing gnarly feet or snuggling in the crook of an arm that had thick bushels of pube-textured hairs sprouting out of it. Yeeeck!!

Thankfully, my hubby has soft skin, strong warm hands, and pretty parts.

6. I Trust Him

While I may accept most people for face-value, earning my complete and unwavering trust is possible, but rare. Very few in my life have earned that distinction-and even fewer have kept it.

Generally speaking, he takes his role as my husband seriously and tries not to behave in a way that would stir up my jealous/possessive streak-even though with his charms, he could.

It’s because of that and the reasons already mentioned before that he has-and will continue to have-my trust.

7. Because I Just Do

Ever heard the saying “you can’t help who you fall in love with?”  While I don’t believe that is entirely true, parts of me can relate to the notion.

I could spend years writing an endless list of reasons why I love my Schwabs, but none of it could fully encompass what my heart truly feels.

While I may have painted the picture of a perfect man, I assure you, he is not. He is human and flawed, but beautifully so. When I look at him, I see a good man: a loyal husband, loving son and brother, dependable friend, dedicated employee, kind stranger, and beautiful soul.

In true pisces form, I can say I love him…because I love him.

***

There are many things I have read online that give the Aries Man-Pisces Woman connection mixed reviews. Speaking from personal experience, I can say that Schwabs and I’s marriage is a very special blend of opposites: masculine and feminine;  quick, fiery passion and slow, deep flowing emotions; tough and tender; intellect and silliness; freedom and possessiveness; leadership and go-with-the-flow; dependable and varying; dreaming and initiative. I guess you could say, it simply works for us.

I sincerely hope this gives even further insight into how we approach love and relationships-and helps you in deciding an approach that is just as lovely, but uniquely your own.

Happy Fishing to my internet friends, and wishing you all a love that makes your heart sing. <3 <3 <3

What do you think about the Aries-Pisces dynamic? I’d love to hear from you!

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Schwabs and I went out for a double date and here’s my casually comfortable get-up for dinner and drinks (and unexpected sing-alongs with the the bar band.) The outing gave me an opportunity to show off some new additions to my closet: an artistic print tee, black booties and slouchy purse (a lovely Christmas gift from my parents.)

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the booties. I’ve been looking for black booties for a good long while now and I finally found the perfect pair.  With a vampy, ankle-baring low cut and reasonable heel that won’t kill my feet, these booties prove that shoes don’t HAVE to be sky-high to be sexy. It’s my 2012 style resolution-to find beautiful shoes minus the foot-torturing heel. While I love fashion, I refuse to be a prisoner to it. I think this pair starts me off on the right…foot!

Sweater-Ross/Top-OliviaMoon(NordstromRack)/Jeans-Levis/Shoes-AdrienneVittadini(DSW)/Purse-AudreyBrooke/Earrings-CharmingCharlies/Ring-TheSilverGallery/Necklace&Bracelet-Inherited/Photos by Schwabs

Ah, the infamous houndstooth…timeless and infinitely chic, but a pattern that can feel a bit stuffy if you don’t mix it up a every once in a while.  Instead of the typical black, white and red, I went another route: black, white and pink.

Here is a causal outfit I wore for one of Schwabs’ family reunions. We were literally off paved roads and in the boondocks-with horses, tractors, beautiful wrap-around porches and baptist sing-a-longs. I needed to wear something family AND boondock appropriate, hence the addition of converse instead of anything with a heel.

Closer to Dallas, the weather was much cooler than typical San Antonio fare, so I layered appropriately and I’m glad I did, because those  random gusts of wind made it pretty darn chilly!

When I sat down, a little sliver of my jungle-esq socks would sneak out and (though most times I’d just smile and observe) so did a little piece of my kooky nature without me having to say a thing.

One of Schwabs’ distant cousins, who had a full-on spiked hairdo and the coolest turquoise cowgirl boots I’ve ever seen, looked over and told me “awesome jacket!” Coming from someone with a unique style all her own, that was the best compliment I could have received that day. Just goes to show, even in the boondocks, it pays to have a little swagger.

Jacket,Top,Sunglasses-Dots/Cardigan-Oldnavy/Pants-LaneBryant/Shoes-Converse(Marshalls)/Jewelry-Gifted/Lipstick-EnVouge(Rimmel)/Photos by Schwabs

Since this is the last outfit post for the year, I’ll close out 2011 by encouraging all my internet friends to inject a little swagger in your style, no matter where your life takes you!

Here are a few photos Schwabs and I took of San Antonio’s First Ever Digital Art Show, host by Clear Channel (thank you Clear Channel!)

While it ended a week ago, people are still talking about how cool it was for our city’s local talent to be displayed so prominently. For almost the whole month of December, art was shining bright wherever you went. All you had to do was look up in the sky. I know I’ve said this before, but it truly was an honor to be a participant in this event and among so many other talented people with creativity to spare.  It has been an inspiring experience from beginning to end.

Above is my art, but I’ve posted a few more of some of the others. I apologize for the quality of some of these photos.  Obviously, we took these in the evening and darnit if we could figure how to be nighttime photographers!

There is still so much to see. If you would like to view all of the art, photos are posted on Clear Channel-San Antonio Outdoor ‘s Facebook page. Congratulations to all the participants, you did our city proud!

Standing in front of the Texas Rodeo Cowboy Hall of Fame, this nod to country style seems befitting.

Schwabs, a bonafide Aggie and country boy at heart, loves, repeat, LOVES this plaid top. Whenever I’m standing in my closet screaming across the apartment, “I don’t know what to wear!!!” He always responds with an enthusiastic “wear the plaid top!”

I must admit, I like it too-for it’s comfort, versatility and easy throw-on-and-go factor. Other things I like: super fitted jeans half-hazardly tucked into rugged looking boots and faux-sherpa, which actually keeps me quite warm on cooler days (comparatively speaking, I AM from Texas afterall.)

Please pardon my squinty-face. It’s looks like I’m glaring, but the sun is in my face. I promise, I’m usually a happy girl…and in this outfit, even more so. Makes me want to jump on a horse and scream “yyyyyeeeee-haw!”

Jacket&Top-Dots/Jeans-ParisBlues(Dots)/Boots-Wanted(Endless.com)/Purse-BCBG(Ross)/Necklace-Gifted Photos by Schwabs

Here is a little something I wore for a mini roadtrip to Waco, TX with Schwabs. While the city is no stranger to controversy (remember the Branch Davidians?) I don’t think anyone was expecting this little get-up to roll into town. Let’s just say, it certainly earned me many turned heads and strange looks.

I actually wanted to show off my new cognac colored ankle boots from Zigi Girl. I’ve had my eye on them for over year now and they finally went on a sale for a major price reduction on Endless.com. Soooooo worth the wait.

As always, the fun of fashion is in the details.

The cardigan, which Schwabs affectionately calls my hobo sweater, was a Goodwill find and practically brand new when I found it hiding in the racks.  The purse gets a lot of use on my travels and hopefully, you’ve seen before.  The socks are just one of many (many) funky pairs that I own. And all of the jewelry was either gifted or inherited, which means each piece is special.

The beautiful antique-style ring was Schwabs’ most recent gift to me. He actually slipped it into the pocket of my hobo sweater while I was looking over this bridge. I better keep my purses under tight surveillance from now on, I didn’t feel a thing!

Despite mixed reviews, I was very happy with this outfit. It was comfortable, it was quirky, it had lots of personality and it suited mine just fine. Hope it inspires you to take risks and wear what you want without fear of judgement.

WORK IT…and everyone else around you will have no choice but to take notice-good, bad or otherwise

Top-OldNavy/Sweater-Goodwill/Jeans-Levi's/Boots-ZigiGirl(Endless.com)/Purse-BCBG(Ross)/Sunglasses-Dots/Earrings,Ring,Necklace-Gifted/Bracelet-Inherited/Photos by Schwabs

You see, the other sensitive water signs have an exterior means of protection: The crabby cancers have their shells and pinchers, the stingy scorpios have their venom-filled tails, but the fishies have got nothing. Nothing, that is, but their ability to swim and swim fast. Please understand, once she’s been baited and hooked, she’s screwed. So she better make sure she takes the right bait. Or if she doesn’t, then she’s gotta be clever enough to wiggle off the hook and disappear back into the ocean. No doubt life has taught her these tough lessons and she is anything but a poor student.

What all this means to you is that when she doesn’t feel like she is in safe company, she swims away. Coming from the highest, most surface level perspective, her reason for swimming away is as simple as that. Of course, it’s up to you to understand the entire depth of her reasoning. Each situation is unique to the individuals involved.

So you want to know if she’ll ever come back…and I really hate the be the bearer of bad news, but in 90% of circumstances, the answer is no, she won’t. For all of her indecisiveness, once she’s made the decision to leave, she usually sticks to it with stubborn resolve. After all, life is too short to waste on old experiences when newer ones are always waiting just around the corner.

For the remaining 10 percenters, there is a glimmer of hope, as there will always be exceptions to the rule. Here are a few situations in which she just might do an about-face and swim right back to you:

1. Genuine Love Exists

Yes, even when she is genuinely in love, she may still swim away. Maybe she wasn’t feeling loved back, maybe she got scared, maybe she lost faith that love was enough to keep it together. Whatever her reason, she left. But when real love is involved, it will always be difficult for her to stay away for good. When it’s real, her heart will always want to gravitate back to her beloved, possibly time and time again. She can’t help it, love is usually her happy place and it takes a lot to make her abandon it.

Of course, love has to be a two-way street. If her loved one doesn’t care to show her that he loves her back, it will be painful for her to leave, but she’ll stay away. But, if he shows her that he loves her just as much as she loves him, she can and will come back…and bestow that love stronger than ever. It just depends on the two persons involved, it just depends if mutual love is being exchanged.

2. The Sex Is Good

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but good sex is a weakness for the pisces girl. She associates sex with so much more than sex. She associates it with a connection of the most complete kind: physical, spiritual, mental and a soul union. Because of what this represents for her, she typically assumes that amazing sex equates to amazing compatibility. Realistically, we all know this isn’t the truth, but try telling the pisces girl that…She usually has to learn the hard way. Mainly by leaving and being reeled back over and over with the lure of passionate romance.

On a personal note, I once stayed in a relationship looooong past its expiration date for this very reason. It was not healthy and definitely not my proudest moment. But I did learn something from it, I learned how someone could use my strong desire for passion against me-as a means of manipulation. I learned that I’ll never let someone toy with me like that again. It was an important lesson to learn.

So why am I telling a whole bunch of strangers this? Well, for one, I’m letting the departed in on a little secret. If the sex was good between you two and you want her back, you can always try to appeal to her passionate side. But it would be in everyone’s best interest if more existed than just sex, and it will be the fisherman’s job to help his fishy lady friend see what OTHER wonderful things you two have in common. If not, she’ll just find a  way to wiggle off the hook again.  Good sex is the bait, but that and that alone will never be enough.

Secondly, I’m using my personal (and painful) experience to hopefully teach other pisces girls a lesson. Are you reading this pisces girls?  Don’t EVER let a man use his sexual allure to manipulate you into putting up with crap. You’re sexier, and worth so much more than that. You deserve the real deal. A good man worthy of going back to will want to show you that.

And if you think you’re the sexy beast worth going back to-PROVE IT (ahem, outside the bedroom.)

3. A Sincere Effort

So maybe you realized you screwed up and now she’s gone. In most instances, I’d recommend doing as the Pisces girl does-learn from the experience and move on. But if you think she’s worth the trying to win back, here are a few pointers:

It will help if you can be introspective enough to understand why she left. Sometimes, all it takes it one silly little move to scare off the pisces girl and it’s your job to determine what exactly that move was and why it didn’t work. If you can’t figure that out-call it quits. She wants someone who will be able to “get” her and if you’re grasping for straws, she might just assume the connection wasn’t that strong after all. (HINT: in many instances, you’ve done something to hurt those extremely sensitive feelings of hers, but she’ll rarely come straight out to tell you that.)

Once you’ve been able to see her perspective, you’ll have to suck it up and own up to your mistake. I know, we all have our pride and this isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but that’s exactly why you should do it-because she’ll be able to recognize and appreciate the effort that you made for her. The best way to approach this is with complete unfiltered sincerity and honesty.  She’ll want to be able to see your point of view. She’ll also want to know without a doubt that you mean what you say. Start with an apology and then be willing to talk it out. For the totally clueless, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” is usually a pretty good starting point.

After that, she may not want to say anything right away, give her some time to think. Be in touch with her after a few days and gauge how warmly she responds to you. If she start to warm up, progress slowly.

If she doesn’t, sometimes a little gentle persistence is needed to make her happy again, but let’s not push it. A few attempts is okay, but if she ignores you completely, consider it a loss and prepare to move on. As one of my pals would put it, don’t get “cray-cray.”

I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum: those who don’t try hard enough and those who try TOO hard. I wish I were pointing out the obvious, but calling, messaging and emailing a gazillion times a day is taking it from gentle persistence to full-on nuisance. You want to find yourself somewhere in the middle. Be honest. Be sincere. Be real. If that doesn’t work, nothing else will.

***

When a pisces woman leaves, she has a funny little way of leaving behind quite an impression, whether good, bad, or both.  She can be many things, but for those who’ve had the experience of a real connection with her, forgettable is hardly one of them.

I sincerely hope this gives some perspective on the pisces woman and her famous disappearing act and wish you all happy fishing!

What’s been your experience? Why do you think a pisces woman disappears? What do you think brings a pisces woman back?  Leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

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I’m crazy
the situation is hazy

It’s all me
of course it is, what else can it be?

Don’t tell me

one thing
but do another

I love you
just like a brother

You don’t
You won’t

It’s okay…
It’s always been this way

But don’t tell me

I’ll pray for you
there’s something wrong with you

Pray for yourself instead
Try to get inside my head
my heart
and see what tears it apart

Just listen, instead of hear
and it all becomes more clear